obonie

 Maybe It Does Affect Me?! (a heartfelt yap sesh dedicated to my own flawed analysis of the og fam lols) Child of a Divorce  Growing up, I so vividly recall my mom's comment regarding a friend of my brother's, being a child from a broken family. Disdain, mayhaps? Nah. It was pure pity. Perhaps my mom herself had always been hyper-aware of the not-so-quiet whispers of gossip surrounding the canteen by parents in their free time, accompanying their respective kids for breakfast in the early school morning, with any new bit of information about who and whose family being quickly shared and judged. While the students who once sat at that same canteen table had long graduated (alongside my brothers, whom I grew up with, years of an age gap between us), oddly enough, the parents' politics in that very atmosphere stayed. Same Old Same Old Five years soon passed. It was nearing my guaranteed end at the same primary school all of my siblings and I shared. Though no longer was the ...

  Who Am I When No One’s Controlling Me Anymore Inspired by a youtube video i just watched (shoutout to leon — i owe you one for real), and the fact that a-levels are now literally 17 days away, i’ve been in a bit of a spiral. or maybe a rebirth? or both? today i studied for 9 hours. nine. hours. that’s not nothing. and i’m hoping for more tomorrow. but here’s the thing: the only reason that kind of energy exists in me now is because i’ve been at war with myself for years. leon talks in his video about the different parts of ourselves that live side by side - sometimes peacefully, but often like enemies in a cramped apartment. and we tend to try and silence the parts we don’t like, the ones that embarrass us or that we feel ashamed of. but they’re still us. that got me thinking. like, really thinking. who am i in all this? my procrastinator side? she’s loud. she’s stubborn. and honestly, i think she was born as a rebellion. growing up in a conservative, traditional home with...